I am here

Sonu, March 2010
Guruji's ways and means are amazing. Though I was regularly travelling on the Mehrauli-Gurgaon road, I was not aware of Guruji's mandir at Empire Estate. On 14th February 2006, when I was at my friend's shop, a person known to me only by face came up and asked me if I was available to go to Mehrauli that evening. As I had no other work lined up, I agreed. On the way, I got to know that the devotees had no one to drive them to the Mandir that night. Thus, I had the opportunity.

When we reached the Mandir, I decided to stay outside the main gate and not go in for the satsang. The devotees with me told me that langar would be served at close to 9.30 pm and I should come in for Guruji's blessings. I did not know anything about Guruji; I was not too interested in langar as I had some days ago eaten the bhandara on my trip to Vaishno Devi, and it was very simple fare, with no care taken for hygiene. Soon, a person asked me if was accompanying Guruji's devotees. As I told him yes, he offered me ladoos and chai. I thought it very nice of him, not knowing that these were Guruji's prasad, channels of His blessings.

On the second day as well, the devotees asked me if I was available and I agreed readily. But I still did not go inside the Mandir to have Guruji's darshan. The many rich people thronging at the door misled me into thinking that Guruji would be concerned only about the rich and resourceful, not ordinary men. But then, obeying a strange pull, I simply walked in. Guruji was on His aasan. I bowed to Guruji and sat down with the devotees I had accompanied. With the shabads playing on, I was not able to get a single word in. My companions advised me to chant Om Namah Shivay. But for how long? Tired of sitting, I was waiting for the langar to start. I found it awkward to share a plate of food with four people, but the langar was delicious. All my presumptions were wrong: Guruji's durbar is different!

The next day I came to the sangat right away, touched Guruji's lotus feet, had chai prasad and went out to have ladoo and chai prasad again. Later, I came back in to enjoy the langar. This became my routine and I started enjoying Guruji's darshan and sitting in the mandir in Guruji's sharan.

One day, I got a bit late for langar and, when I came in, the first round was about to start. I was anxious not to annoy the devotees who had come with me by keeping them waiting. Just then, a devotee asked me if I wished to have langar. He took me to the very front, right next to Guruji's aasan for langar! As I continued coming to Guruji, my connection with Him grew stronger and I realized that Guruji was different from conventional preachers. Sitting in Guruji's durbar, I was sure Guruji was going to take care of me as He was of everybody else. I realized that my perception of Guruji being kind only to the wealthy was wrong. He is a source of pure unconditional love that flows to you irrespective of who you are.

Guruji handpicks His sangat

My initiation to Guruji was unexpected. Since it was time for me to meet Him, events led me to Him. Though they might appear strange and coincidental, Guruji had minutely planned the sequence.

Here's a small example that illustrates my viewpoint. My friend and I were going to the Mandir. A confused scooterist in front of our car was delaying us. We were eager to reach the Mandir, and I was irritated enough to ask the scooterist to let us through. The scooterist was searching for a way to a Shani temple which is en route to the Mandir. We told him to follow us. At the turn to the Shani temple, we stopped and indicated the turn. Casually, my friend remarked that if the scooterist wanted to visit Shiv Lok, he should follow us further.

Surprisingly, the scooterist instantly changed his mind and came with us. The next day, that person was in the Mandir with his whole family. Today, he is a devotee of Guruji.

Similarly, I have a friend who stays in Kanpur and had come to Delhi for a short trip. He made it to Guruji's durbar and now comes to the Mandir whenever he is in Delhi. On the other hand, I have many friends in Delhi who know about Guruji through me, but have never been to Guruji's durbar.

It is evident Guruji chooses who can come to His sharan.

Since coming to Guruji, I have been enjoying His blessings. His blessings are not limited to those directly connected with Him. I realized this when I met my neighbour's daughter in a local bus. I had seen this girl grow up, and asked her which class she was studying in. She told me she had applied for admission to a polytechnic. I requested Guruji to bestow His grace on the girl and asked her to rest assured of admission.

After a few days I met her again and she was extremely happy. She had been listed first on the waiting list when, inexplicably, one of the confirmed candidates decided not to take admission in Delhi and withdrew her name. The girl thus got admission-thanks to Guruji's grace.

A banana that blesses

Guruji blessed me with His darshan. In a dream, I saw Guruji in Keshav Puram Market in Delhi. I was surprised and asked Guruji the reason for His visit. Guruji simply said it was a casual visit, not linked to any specific reason. I asked Guruji if I could get something for Him to eat. Guruji said no, but on my insistence agreed to have a banana. I searched the whole market but could not find bananas. When I returned to the spot where I had met Guruji, He was not there. I returned home and rang the bell. As my mother answered the bell and opened the door, I was surprised to find Guruji standing right behind my mother. I exclaimed, "Guruji, aap yahan aur mein aapko wahan market mein dhoond raha tha (You are here and I was looking for you in the market)." Guruji said, "Koi gal nahin, aaja baija ithe" (Never mind, come and sit here.) Just that moment I woke up and the darshan was over.

The next day, my mother complained of feeling sick and dizziness. I went to the kitchen and there was a banana kept there. I gave that to mother and asked her to eat it to get rid of the dizziness. I could relate the banana to Guruji's darshan last night. To my amazement, when I came back home in the evening, I got to know from mother that her condition had improved immediately on taking the banana in the morning! Guruji's ways of blessing His disciples are unique and only He can make it all work.

"Kalyan ho gaya"

While coming regularly to the mandir, I used to hear Guruji blessing many devotees by saying, "Kalyan ho gaya." I used to wait for my chance to be blessed with these words.

Once, Guruji gave me darshan. He was seated on His aasan and I was having langar sitting close by. Guruji signaled me to come to Him. As I bowed to Him, Guruji instructed me to sit in the back. As I was following His instruction, Guruji called me again and said, "Ja tera bhi kalyan kita (I have blessed you)." I was delighted. It is amazing how Guruji knows and responds to all things, big and small, in your mind. At times, the demands are so insignificant that even we tend to forget them, but Guruji grants them all.

I was attending one of the functions held on 31st December, when Guruji gave me a rare opportunity to wish Him. As I was taking permission, I wished Guruji 'Happy New Year' and Guruji wished me back. I don't know where I got the courage from, but I just mentioned to Guruji that today was my birthday as well (1st January). Guruji said, "Ja, aish kar pher" (Go and enjoy yourself then.) Those words are permanently etched in my memory and I would cherish them lifelong. That was the best birthday gift I could have ever got in my life!

Guruji says: 'Don't be sad'

Guruji's mahasamadhi on 31st May 2007 was heart breaking. The next day, we were to reach mandir early in the morning. So I had the alarm set for 4.30 am. But I could not get up at that time and went back to sleep, turning the alarm off. Two hours later, Guruji, dressed in white attire, came and prodded me twice with affection, saying: "Kanjar khada ho. Wade mandir nahin jaana. Pahunch Mandir" (Wake up! Don't you have to go to Bade Mandir? Go to mandir.) I immediately got ready and left for the mandir. It was so touching that Guruji had Himself come and asked me to be at the Mandir.

In a few days, at around midnight, a friend came. His cousin had expired unexpectedly, and he had asked me to join him at his cousin's place. At that time, I was a bit disturbed at Guruji's mahasamadhi. I was asking Guruji why he had left us; what would happen to me now; who will take care of us; and how would I survive. Gathering myself, I got up and took my friend to the desired location. I came back after a couple of hours and went to sleep. Guruji gave me His darshan and said: "Why are you crying? I have not gone anywhere. I am still here with all of you. Don't be sad. Be happy and stop crying. Take care of the people who have a reason to cry [a reference to my friend]. You should not cry any further." Guruji's instructions were clear and stabilized me.

Every moment we can feel the truth in Guruji's words, "I am here." He is very much here and is taking care of everything we need. My survival today is entirely dependent on Guruji's grace.

Dream darshan foretells Dugri pilgrimage

In another dream, I had two friends approach me for playing Holi together. But I told them I would celebrate the festival only with Guruji. In year 2007 I had celebrated Holi in Bade Mandir. In year 2008, there was no celebration, but even then since it was a special occasion I had spent the day in the Mandir, with Guruji (not physically, but spiritually). Guruji is there with all of us and the entire sangat can enjoy His blessings and love to the fullest. Guruji is always there and will continue to be there forever.

In the dream, my friends left me as I went ahead searching for Guruji. When I met Guruji and bowed to Him, I started crying out of love and affection. Guruji asked me to sit. It was as if we were in some village. As soon as I was settled, my friends also came in and bowed to Guruji. Then they applied colour and wished 'Happy Holi' to Guruji. Guruji wished them back and called me, applied colour and said 'Happy Holi'. I too wished Him back and cried again on Guruji's lotus feet. It felt as if years of separation had come to an end. It was such a great pleasure to be playing Holi with the Lord.

I sat down close to Guruji's aasan. Across it there was a cot, which had two of Guruji's charan paduka under it. Those charan paduka were not clean and I asked for Guruji's permission to clean them. But Guruji told me these would be cleaned automatically, a stream of water would come and clean them up. (Later, I realized that our ill karmas had manifested as dirt, and only Guruji could clean them up.)

Further on in the dream, I was having langar in the kitchen when my mother told me that Guruji was leaving and I should take His aagya. I bowed and stuck to Guruji's charan. Guruji asked me to leave, but as I was not moving, Guruji said, "Chal 6 tareek nu aa jayien" (Okay, come on the sixth then.) I was elated. When I woke up, I checked the calendar. It was 6th April 2008, the first Sunday of the month.

At that time the sangat was not held on the first Sunday of the month in Delhi. But in the sangat I got to know that a sangat is held in Dugri every first Sunday of the month. I visited Dugri for the satsang. It was just an amazing experience attending the satsang in Dugri. I was left wondering how Guruji had given me darshan in a similar village-like set-up. And here I was sitting at Dugri and enjoying His satsang!

A Punjabi family moved in the neighbourhood. As I was cleaning my car, shabads played in Guruji's durbar were playing on. I increased the volume, hoping the Punjabi family would take notice and, perchance, be attracted to Guruji's sangat. But they were absolutely non-responsive. A bit disheartened, I decided to leave it to Guruji. Just then, as I looked inside the car, Guruji was sitting there. As I tried getting closer, Guruji disappeared. I had these real darshan of Guruji after His mahasamadhi. Guruji provides ample evidence of His continuously being with us. Guruji's blessings are what keeps me going! Jai Guruji!

Sonu, a devotee

March 2010