I surrender to Guruji

Preeti Jhanji, March 2010
I came to Bade Mandir around Diwali of 2008 with my mother. My parents had been associated with Guruji since July 2007. During my first visit, as we sat listening to a satsang, I had the surreal feeling that nothing else existed but the Mandir-it was floating in emptiness and everything else was an illusion.

The experience opened me up. Growing up, I had been an avid reader and had a scientific temper, believing in logic and questioning the concept of religion. Sitting that day in the temple, the skepticism evaporated and a new faith seeped in.

Darshan helps me wade through difficult times

It was January of 2009. One night, I dreamt that I was sitting in Bade Mandir and a sangat member was narrating a problem he was facing. As I looked up, the big framed photo of Guruji developed a second dimension. One side of it showed His photograph; in the obverse, there was Guruji Himself-actually sitting and listening intently, presiding over the sangat. Guruji was conveying that He is present in the Mandir when the sangat gathers and He knows about everyone's troubles.

In the morning when I got up and switched on the TV, I learnt that the firm I worked for was in financial trouble and the future was uncertain. There was a sinking feeling. I was settled in my role and had the work flexibility that I needed to raise my child, a toddler. It would be very difficult to find a similar job. But after the initial shock I realized why Guruji gave darshan the night before: He knew that the news I was to get in the morning would be devastating. So He assured me He knew about my problem and everyone else's and that He was looking over us.

As my work was less, I came to Gurgaon for a break and for moral support from my parents. We visited Bade Mandir every week. While going to Pune, I got the feeling that Guruji wanted me in Gurgaon and that He would call me there. The following day I was informed that I needed to look for a new job.

We decided that I move to Gurgaon. I got an interview call the same month despite the job market being bad due to the recession. I was told that hiring was on hold at the moment, but in three months I would get the job. So I spent the time at home, relaxing and spending time with my 4-year-old son, something I always longed to do, but could not under pressure of a demanding full-time job. And sure enough, in time, I got the job.

It is as if Guruji wanted to give me a break to spend time with parents, with my son, to introspect and focus on long-term goals. Now, I am settled and turn up at the Mandir for the attendance that Guruji wants me to put in, and am honoured to have His blessings.

Guruji saves us from taxing times

I had moved funds from abroad into a bank. Two years later, in March 2009, the Income Tax department served notice, and we realized that the bank had backdated the transaction to achieve targets. During the enquiry, officers came up with queries, which we could answer, but which would have taken a lot of time, effort and expenditure, as after moving to India, my accounts abroad were rendered defunct. No matter how honest or clean one is, it is excruciating to be on the wrong side of the law and unreasonable fears set in. The same happened to us.

Dad came over to Pune to help me and got very upset at the line of questioning. In the morning while leaving for Gurgaon, he was very troubled. After seeing him off I went back to sleep, talking to Guruji. I said to Him: "Guruji, if I ask you why this is happening to us, you could say that we have to pay for our karma from previous lifetimes. But I plead to you to consider what a person has been doing in this life; that my dad has been a compassionate human being to whom his reputation matters the most. After a lifetime of hard work, such wrong should not happen to him."

As I slept, I dreamt that Dad and I were in the same car we were using to visit the IT Department. As the driver made a fast turn, the rear wheels went over the ledge and the car dangled over a deep ditch. I was shocked and looked at the driver, who did not seem to be aware of the danger. Suddenly the car angled upwards, it flew, with our hair flowing in the wind. I got the feeling that Guruji is in the driver's seat, that Dad and I are full of joy and relief. The next second I woke up and knew that Guruji had indicated that He would take care of the problem.

Dad was still on the plane back to Gurgaon so I sent him an sms on the darshan, called up mom and told her about the dream. Everyone accepted without doubt what the dream meant and stopped worrying.

We had been frantically following up with our tax consultant every day, but after the darshan we did not make a single call. A week later the consultant called and told me that the department was closing the case. I thanked him. My voice did not show much surprise, and I am sure he would have wondered why it was so. Little did he know that it was our Guruji who had resolved the issue!

The Omnipresent and His ways

I have heard devotees say; "We know not what is right for us in the long term, or why we are going through a problem, so we should not ask Guruji for anything." Yet, when we are worried or suffer pain, we pray to Him for help.

One October night as I went to sleep, I was thinking of all this and questioning Guruji about why He was not helping out and why he had not given darshan in a long time. Early morning I dreamt that a new driver was in our house. He came out of the kitchen and stood in the dining room. Then he touched one of the walls of the room and said that there was a lot of positive energy in the wall. I contemplated telling him that He could be feeling the energy because of Guruji's picture. I turned to look at the picture, and find instead, a large frame, and in it, a dwarf figure sitting on the gaddi and looking at me amusedly. As I looked, the figure changed its pose, but kept smiling at me. I looked at the driver and he gave me the same smile. I got confused: the driver's smile looked like Guruji's, but both of them looked so different from Guruji. Just then I saw Guruji standing right in front of me, in all His majestic glory. He was looking at me, smiling like a Father, nodding His head. He was saying to me: "Hun pata chal gaya" (Now you know it is me.) I heard that over and over again, without Him voicing it.

I am overwhelmed and hug Guruji and shout out to mom, dad and sister: "Guruji is here, come get darshan!" Now that He is here, I think, we can ask Him about the dilemma we are facing, He will provide answers to our questions. Guruji walks with me to the room my sister and I share, then He suddenly turns around and says He needs to go the other room to see someone else. I let him go and go frantically search for my son Armaan, who always talks about wanting to see Guruji. When I go back to the room, Guruji is not there. My sister tells me He left. Extreme disappointment sets in because I did not get to ask Him what I should do....I needed Him to help me make crucial decisions.

At that point, I woke up. But instead of disappointment, my heart felt overjoyed and contented. I got the feeling that Guruji is there with us. And though at the moment the problems look fathomless, Guruji is there to guide us through them, so we should keep the faith. Surrender to Guruji, the Almighty, is what will fill life with positivity and lead us to moksha. Jai Guruji!

Preeti Jhanji, a devotee

March 2010