Guruji is my life

Madhuri, April 2014
I do not have words to express my love for Guruji! He was, He is and I am sure that He will be with me always.

Yet it was not easy to reach Him. I had left my job and was looking for another one for a couple of months. A devotee of Guruji, Rinki, had told me frequently to go to Guruji and that my problem would be solved but my husband was a disbeliever and not in favour of going to any Guru. Every time I asked him to go to Guruji's Bade Mandir, he would say no. The 24th of February is our wedding anniversary and it was a perfect day to ask my husband for my wedding gift-a chance to meet Guruji. It was 8 at night and I asked him to go Chattarpur. Rinki had told me that Guruji's Mandir was there. After some time we were in Chattarpur, but did not locate the temple. We asked many people but no one was aware of it. By this time my husband was very angry. We were both hungry and I was running a fever. Suddenly a person told us that the Bade Mandir was eight km ahead of Chattarpur. I asked my husband to return, but he quietly moved ahead in the direction of the Mandir. We were going straight with no idea where to turn, when Rinki called me and enquired about our whereabouts. We were near a signboard and when I told her what was written on it, she told me that we had reached the place and asked me to turn left. It was only after reaching Bade Mandir that I realized it was Guruji who had made Rinki call us when she did, otherwise we would never have found the place.

The minute I entered the temple I felt peace. My husband and I bowed in front of Guruji, came out of the main hall and had langar prasad. When we were returning, my husband's mood changed. He said it was a nice place but, looking at Guruji's photographs, joked that Guruji was wearing expensive robes and must have had lots of money. (Truth be told, Guruji lived in a single simple room and had two chapattis for His meals. He neither dealt in money or property; He gave away the dresses that He wore to His disciples who treasure them as a mark of His blessings.) I had very high fever on entering the Mandir, but it normalized and I felt energetic.

As if pulled by a magnet, we again went to Guruji after a few days. During my second visit, I was desperately looking at Guruji's photo and praying tearfully for getting a job. Suddenly, I felt as if Guruji's smile was increasing. I thought I was seeing things and left the Mandir. But Guruji was blessing me and I got the job within one week. Jai Guruji!

I had appeared for interviews in two companies, one bigger than the other. I got the offer letter from the small one, but waited for the bigger job. I got angry with Guruji as I was not getting the call from the bigger company even though my interview had gone well. I made it a condition that I would come to the Bade Mandir only if I got a call from the big firm. Months passed, I joined the small company and distanced myself from Guruji since I had not received a call from the big firm.

All of a sudden Rinki called me one day and said that she was holding Guruji's satsang on the next Tuesday. I had to come, she implored, as Guruji was calling me. I declined. My husband arrives late from office and I did not want to travel alone. Rinki assured me that she would drop me home. But Guruji had a better plan. My husband got leave that day and we both went to the satsang. In one of the many satsangs that were recounted, I heard that one should not fight with Guruji when He does not grant a wish. Since Guruji can see what we cannot, we should respect what Guruji has given us and not stop going to the Mandir. I felt the satsang was directly speaking to me. I told my husband that we would be going to Guruji again. Later I understood why Guruji had not made me join the bigger firm. It is true that we cannot see what Guruji can.

I used to have fever every month before I met Guruji. We were ignoring the symptom, assuming that it was due to my carelessness. Since I was weak maybe I was getting fever due to exertion. But after going to Guruji one day, I got fever and it did not come down. We got serious and reached a premier hospital in Gurgaon. A number of tests came negative and we were disappointed that there was no diagnosis. Meanwhile, I joined the new firm and fulfilled my work and house responsibilities-even when the fever went as high as 102 degrees Fahrenheit. I was getting the strength to work normally and did not have to take a single day's leave for one full year. Often my husband and in-laws wondered how I was coping, but I had no answer since at the time I did not realize it was Guruji's kripa. Doctors were astonished as well. I was not on medication despite the fever and my weight had remained constant.

The last test I had to undergo was a CT scan. I prayed to Guruji that a diagnosis be reached because I was fed up with tests, which were straining our finances as well. The result revealed that my neck lymph nodes were swollen due to which I was having recurring fever. Doctors assumed it was tuberculosis and started me on a course of heavy medication for six months. Two weeks in, I had very high fever (103 degrees Fahrenheit) and it did not come down with medication. On the third day, it reached 104 degrees and after the fourth day my liver was affected. I vomited after drinking plain water and reached a point where I could not even sit by my own. My husband rushed me to the hospital and they hospitalized me since I was critical.

Before this incident we were planning to shift our house, as it was tough for me to travel to my new office on Sohna road from our lodgings in Sector 10A in Gurgaon. By Guruji's grace, we got a new house just behind the hospital.

It took doctors three days to get my fever down. But on the fourth day I reacted to a medicine. My whole body was swollen with dark purple rashes, severe itching and blurred vision. The doctors were confused about which medicine I had reacted to. They stopped all medicines for tuberculosis and discharged me on the sixth day, saying that fresh treatment would begin once things settled down with drugs being given one at a time.

My family now forced us to take another opinion. We went around all the hospitals, including AIIMS. Everyone believed I could not be treated without hospitalization since I had reacted to all medicines. It had been more than a year since we had been dealing with my health. We did not know what to do. I prayed to Guruji to find me a doctor who could help me. Quite suddenly we met a friend with her husband in a market and they asked us to their place. We were discussing my problem, when my friend suggested that we consult with an experienced doctor in another hospital. Although we had already visited many doctors, we decided to give it a chance.

After listening to our entire story and going through a year's worth of my reports, that doctor said he could not understand how doctors had started me on heavy medications for TB, when it was not confirmed. He suspected it could be sarcoidosis (the growth of tiny collections of inflammatory cells in different parts of the body) and advised me to go for a test which measures the level of an enzyme in the blood that corroborates the diagnosis. He assured us that there was nothing to worry and cheered us up, saying "Ki aise shakal kyun bana rakhi hei, young ho dono so go and enjoy your life, nothing has happened." I felt Guruji was speaking to us and was relieved. The test confirmed I had sarcoidosis. The doctor then asked me to go for a CT scan to assess the extent of the disorder.

By this time I had got a copper tumbler blessed by Guruji and was drinking blessed water from it. The CT scan showed that the lymph node had decreased from 2.5 cm to 1 cm. The doctor was amazed by the report and said something had caused the growth to stop and perhaps after some time the disease would go away. He advised us to not take any medicine as I was not having any fever or weight loss.

As I write, I am slated to go for another CT scan. I am completely sure that it will be normal since Guruji is taking care of me. If He can reduce my enlarged lymph node size from 2.5cm to 1 cm without any medication, He can turn it back to normal too.

By the grace of Guruji, we have got our house booked in Gurgaon. Also, I have got a big framed photograph of Guruji in our house. On our wedding anniversary I had asked Guruji for it as my anniversary gift. It seems that Guruji listens to all our thoughts. Jai Guruji!

I am lucky enough to have Guruji's love and blessings. I do not need any other materialistic thing from Guruji except more of His continued love and blessings

Love always to Guruji.

Madhuri, a devotee

April 2014