In life as in death, Guruji holds a devotee in His hands always

Kamini Kaushik, February 2016
My daughter went to Guruji's the day my medical reports came positive for cancer. It was a Sunday, March 2, 2014. With the benefit of hindsight, I can say that He had been calling us, but I guess that day was the last call. The Mandir gates had closed and my daughter and her friends could only take a look from behind the gate. My daughter was mesmerized. She could only say that she would come to visit Guruji when I would be cured. It was a casual utterance; we had no clue who Guruji was and why Guruji had called her.

Thereafter, for a short while, everything went smoothly. I began taking medicines and the cancer vanished within four months. We were overjoyed, and thought cancer was not as big a deal as it was made out to be. Next, my daughter had Guruji's darshan. She saw Guruji saying that now the time for examination starts. As He used to say, he squeezes His disciple like a lemon, burning out karmas. Mind it, the examination might take years, but when He feels His devotee has sailed through the toughest phase, He gives a thousand-fold.

Soon the toughest phase of our life started. It seemed as if we were on a roller coaster. My health would deteriorate, then I would get some relief, and then it would get bad again. The entire scenario played out for two good years. Each time it was His sacred name, His shabads and His sacred langar & jal prasad that saved us. His divine darshans made us progress step by step.

But cancer was taking a toll on my body. The day came when I was unable to digest anything. I could not retain even a sip of water; I was throwing up everything. My family consulted my doctor at a Gurgaon hospital. He prescribed an injection that my sister gave to me, since I wanted to avoid visiting the doctor. Travelling had become a challenge for me. Guruji, however, had something else in His mind. My vomiting didn't stop with the injection. It was an agonizing night, and we decided to visit the hospital as early as 4.30 in the morning. It takes two hours to reach the hospital from home, but that morning we made it in 45 minutes.

Doctors recommended surgery on my large intestine to revive it and put me on intravenous antibiotics. We were given time till the next morning to take a decision about the surgery. My body had become so feeble that we decided to leave the matter in Guruji's hands. The next day we requested the doctor to give us a day more to think, and my children decided to do satsang at their own places. One of them had a vision and saw that Guruji was pouring water on my intestine.

At 4 in the evening, my doctor decided to remove my food pipe and see if there was any improvement. They were surprised to see the intestine, which they said would revive at most by a mere 20 per cent, working. Thanks to Guruji once again the impossible had become possible.

Guruji's kripa has sustained me. I get everything from Him: He is my oxygen tank; His jal prasad runs as blood in my body; langar prasad makes my bones and muscles. My existence is only due to His mantra jaap. I am nothing without Guruji.

In fact, after having received Guruji's blessings, I have derived benefits that are beyond the physical. For one, the ego vanishes when the devotee achieves a level of maturity. Second, materialistic desires subside on their own. We are able to feel the Satguru's worth in our life. Also, I personally believe my suffering has taken us through a beautiful journey. Each day now is a new experience. Guruji's bountiful blessings are over all of us. We enjoy being a small part of His creation. My family and I are very thankful to Him for taking us through this difficult path in our life and for holding our hands always.

We are very thankful to you, Guruji, for our association with you. Thank you, Guruji, for everything. Nothing is impossible for Guruji. He is the ultimate savior. He controls death and life. He is the god of gods. Guruji, I pray that you never ever leave us. We cannot do without you.

Kamini Kaushik, a devotee

February 2016

[Guruji's devotee Kamini Kaushik passed away in March 2016, a month after she wrote this satsang. What follows is her daughter's account.]

Losing mom was an irreparable loss which no one can heal. We all know that one who is born is destined to die but one can't imagine life without a mother. Mom's faith in Guruji was unwavering as was ours. I now realize that He was giving indications about what was going to happen even as He gave us strength to handle the biggest trauma we had to face.

Six months before Mom's passing, Guruji gave me a vision. I saw that He was critically ill and devotees were coming to visit Him. Then, He left His body. I saw Him very happy and sitting on a chair, wearing white robes, smiling continuously. The dream ended when Guruji revealed a certain time which we relate now to mom's death. We could not think beyond her suffering and thought Guruji had taken death upon Himself.

But Guruji was preparing us. He tried to do so by showing me how He had given my grandmother release twenty years after her death. He also told me that normally cases like my mom's lead to death but that He had given her a lease of life.

Mom was born on 25 December, the day Jesus was born, and passed away on 25 March, Good Friday, the day of His crucifixion. That day my sister saw Guruji in a vision. He came in a black chola and told my sister: "Le kitta". (I have done it.) Roses fell spontaneously from a shivalinga. My sister came rushing to mom's room to explain the vision to her—and that was the time when mom was taking her last breath. Her demise was very peaceful, without any hint of pain or suffering. Guruji then showed us that she had gone to a very high realm, enjoying and doing her spiritual duties.

Just five days before her demise, I also saw something that again should have told me how close mom was to taking her eternal rest. We had held a small satsang that day. I thought of taking the jyot we had lighted in front of Guruji to each room. Mom had gone back to her room, and I got the jyot near her. Suddenly, a white straight light crossed into her. I thought it was the Light of Divinity; I thought of it later as the light she was going to go back into.

In fact for the last one year before her death I could see flashes of Guruji's samadhi at the Mandir with a white flag on top of it. I used to be doing circumambulations around it. I couldn't relate the vision to anything on the ground then.

My sister also had a vision where Guruji made her understand the concept of preparing a being for three days before death. He told her that through these days your mother's sufferings will vanish. The vision came exactly three days before she passed away.

Mom has left the biggest void in our life. Her physical presence, sweet voice, great wisdom...everything will be highly missed. May Guruji keep her at His lotus feet and may she become a guardian angel for us.

Nistha Kaushik, a devotee

May 2016