I am new to Bade Mandir and Guruji but believe me I feel that I have never been away from this place and that I have known Guruji forever.
Before coming to Guruji at Bade Mandir, I was a normal person who was into roti, kapda aur makaan
. I was in the rat race, pursuing common desires even if they were not self-centered. Na main soni, na gun palle.
I have never been a staunch believer of God, not from my heart, that is. I was just going with the flow, with what my parents, teachers and my experiences taught me.
It was my husband who encouraged and took me to Guruji. My husband, in turn, had a friend who was His devotee. My husband came to Guruji full of faith, not me. The visit happened sometime in February 2009. We were pleasantly surprised and moved to experience Guruji's fragrance all over Bade Mandir. His strong and welcome presence motivated us to visit Bade Mandir again and again, and we have been going there regularly once in a week since September 2009.
The Divine smiles
New Year's Eve 2009 left me mulling whether to visit Bade Mandir or not. Though I had earnestly wanted to attend the function, I was still hesitant. Caught in this dilemma, I managed to finish my office chores at about 6 pm on New Year's Eve. One of my seniors, a vice president in our company, came to our chambers to meet my boss, who is senior to him and to whom I directly report. I asked the VP if he was going to Bade Mandir and he said he may go for some time. He went on to say that he became a believer after he had Guruji's darshan
near the kutiya
in Bade Mandir. He showed me his devotional artifacts. Guruji's photographs in a pen and a locket. He pointed out that he had never asked for them, yet someone would invariably walk up to him and give them.
Somehow, I felt even more depressed. From the core of my heart I silently complained to Guruji, Guruji bhi bas vadde lokan de hain.
Darshan is reserved for the privileged class.
I left my office. The roads were full of traffic, it being 31st December. I reached home at 7.30pm, an hour later than my usual time. My family persuaded me to attend Guruji's function and my husband told me to have faith and not to think unnecessarily. We all proceeded to Bade Mandir, had darshan
at about 9.30 pm and were inside the hall at about 10 pm. We then went out to see the function.
I was sitting at the right side of the Sangat hall with my eyes closed. The feeling that night was out of this world, mesmerizing and all-consuming. I forgot myself, ceased feeling the surroundings, ceased breathing, and could only see. As I looked up at the life-size portrait of Guruji, I felt He was smiling upon me. Gradually, His smile was filling me, the lips synchronizing; facial expressions full of love, compassion and blessings; the face changing every second; the eyes alive and lit; the ears keen; the teeth--white, real and moving. I could not hear Him but fought hard to read His lips. A translucent Guruji, portraying His real self, alive, giving me His divine darshan
--this was the only way my little mind could comprehend Him.
Eyes glued to Guruji Maharaj, the divine master, I looked around the sangat and everything seemed normal. I looked back at Guruji and everything seemed heavenly. I rubbed my eyes, changed places and postures and went and sat in the back and front of the hall. But I was the chosen one that day. I had Him for myself. I looked at my family and they pleaded that I go out. I told them to go, as I did not dare separate from Guruji, in fear that I would break the divine spell and the feeling of pure love emanating from His oceanic being and His face. I had his darshan
that day till I left Bade Mandir at 1 in the morning, when the temple was closed.
I was hesitant to write or communicate this. But I am writing this to communicate that I learnt from Guruji that all in His sangat
are equal before Him. He had heard my silent complaint. He helped me break my ill-conceived, stupid ideas. He changed my thinking and let me know His real self. I had asked Guruji, from the very start, only for His darshan
and that darshan
I got as a New Year gift. Since then it has always been my heart's desire and silent request that Guruji grant me His divine darshan
He touches my heart
As recently as 6 March 2010, we had another wonderful experience.
When we visited Bade Mandir on that Saturday, we took two beautiful roses for Guruji. I don't know why we picked two, though before purchasing them I had thought of bringing in a basketful and placing them near His Gaddi
. But with two roses in hand, we decided to place them near the samadhi
. We placed them near the jyoti
, as we did not want to place them on the floor. As we did so, a devotee rather sternly told us that that was the wrong place and we should place the flowers on the floor. I took the flowers and immediately placed them on the floor, away from the samadhi
. The devotee again sternly instructed us to place them on the elevated space around the samadhi
. I obediently placed the flowers accordingly and in the process unintentionally crossed the elevated plinth. The devotee now reprimanded us, telling us that since the samadhi
was a sacred place we were not allowed to touch it. I mumbled a sorry and we hurried out of the samadhi
after saying our prayers.
My daughter and I were quite upset for some time. I kept thinking of this incident for a while. I thought the devotee was doing his duty in orienting and guiding us. But in a remote corner of my mind I was also protesting and complaining.
On the subsequent Wednesday, that is 10th February, I had a vivid vision of Guruji. I saw Guru Nanak Devji, Sai Baba, Shivji and Sheranvali Mata, as if in a slideshow, in the Bade Mandir. And then all of them merged together into our Guruji Maharaj, rising dramatically and majestically from a patch of sand. The vision lasted only a fraction of a second. Immediately after, I saw a clearing around the Mandir. Cars were approaching the space; I was wearing a red silk sari, standing with hands folded at the main gate to the Bade Mandir. The vision passed away.
I got up and went about my daily chores, but the last part of the vision stayed with me. It dawned upon me that the clearing was the parking space at Bade Mandir and Guruji's message for me was loud and clear: I should go there, wearing a particular red sari which I had. (It had been kept pressed and ready to wear one month ago, but I could not find time to wear it to the office due to one reason or the other). I was not sure if I could go to Bade Mandir that day on such a short notice. But Guruji's wish is my command. Should I go in the morning straightaway or in the evening? I remembered pending office chores and decided to go to the office first. Dressed in that sari, I first went to my office. By 12.30 pm I was almost free, my boss was not around and I left NOIDA for Bade Mandir.
Immediately, upon entering Bade Mandir I could see activity in the samadhi
area. The place was being thoroughly cleaned and water was being poured over the roof of the samadhi
. I came to know that Wednesday is designated for cleaning the samadhi
. Needless to say I participated in the Samadhi Seva
and in the process touched the Samadhi
of Guruji Maharaj to my heart's fill.
I realized that my divine Guruji, the all-knowing master of the three worlds, the great giver of all gifts, had gifted me the most sacred touch of His samadhi
. I had an open and uninterrupted darshan
of His Mandir, His portrait in the main hall, the Shiva idol, His very own room, His kutiya
and everything else my two earthly eyes could drink in to keep in my heart forever. I touched, cherished and immersed myself in this bliss for two hours before I came back to my workplace and to home. Later, I was informed that there was special seva
on that day on account of the Mahashivratri function.
Had it not been for the guidance of Guruji Maharaj, I would have never known that Wednesday is meant for samadhi seva
, never have gone, and never have had such cherished experiences. It showed me that Guruji knows all--big worries or small worries, innocent complaints, everything reaches Him intact. He touches your heart and soul. A pure and innocent thought from your heart is enough to touch Him. He fills and heals you from within, and our souls are but a reflection of His very own.
Guruji saves my brother-in-law
I have become an absolute deewani
of Guruji in just five months. However, I had not yet introduced my in-laws to Guruji, when an incident happened. I do not visit my in-laws frequently, although we live close by, as I am busy with office work. I visit them once a month, and we usually communicate through the phone.
My in-laws are a family of four, my elder brother-in-law, younger brother in-laws, sister-in law and mother-in-law. My father's family and my in-laws' family are "modified" but very devout Sikhs. We had not yet talked about Guruji to them and were waiting for the right time.
My elder brother-in-law, who never married, lives a retired and sedentary life since returning from the US. He has many ailments. He is a sugar patient; he has limited vision since his eyes have been treated with laser four times; and he cannot walk properly since his right leg is in bad shape.
My brother-in-law's bedroom, which is adjacent to the house staircase, is close by a western-style washroom. He normally gets up at night to use the toilet and goes back to sleep.
All this is by way of background.
March, 2010, I had a morning vision of Guruji. He was wearing a most magnificent yellow chola
and climbing the stairs of my in-laws place in His unique style. Four people were present. I was standing near the head of the staircase. The house was deserted but for our presence. I got a pleasant surprise at Guruji's unannounced visit at this unexpected place. There were but four stairs left for Guruji to climb, when He disappeared. I rushed to find Him. But Guruji left as suddenly as He had come. I looked for Him but in vain. I looked down the stairs and could see a room with a heavy curtain drawn at the base of the staircase. I was baffled. Then the scene changed. It was my home. Guruji was in front of me, wearing a black chola
, His face smiling. I had three such snapshot darshans
before the vision faded.
I talked to my immediate family about it, but we could not fathom the meaning of the dream.
Six days later, I woke up at 3 in the morning and could not get back to sleep. I got out of bed at 4 am, as is my habit. I took my bath, changed and got ready for the morning routine. I had lighted the diya
in front of Guruji Maharaj and Guru Nanak Devji and prayed. My mood was weird. I was very demanding with my Gurus that day. I prayed Guruji, aap to sarvgun sampan, sarvshaktiman hain. Man ki sab baatein jaante hain. Main bhi Insaan hoon aur aapki har roj puja karti hoon. Jab aap mere man mein baithe hain to aap sab jaante honge. Aap mein shakti hai to meri man ki har ichaa ko aaj pura kar dijiye.
I have never ever demanded anything during my prayers. I was disturbed. Why, why had I asked Him this and why had I used these words. I could not understand myself. Anyhow the words were out. I bowed and had hardly taken a step back when my cell phone rang.
I mechanically took the call. My elder sister-in-law was on line. She said that my brother-in-law had fallen off the staircase, hurtling down fourteen moderately steep stairs. He could not get a hold on the iron grill, which bordered the staircase. He was found at the base of the staircase in a state of shock. He was bleeding from the knee. He had been taken to the nearest room at the base of the stairs. My younger brother-in-law was alone and did not know what to do. She told me to send my husband. He went straightaway.
The stairs from which he fell and the room he was taken to - I had already seen these in my vision of Guruji.
Of course, everyone in the household was disturbed. They wanted to take my brother-in-law to a doctor immediately but he refused. I called them at 5.30 am and told them to give my brother-in-law a hot water bottle, as his right shoulder was swollen, and wait for him to come around. His head had three or four wounds behind his ears. In addition, there was a small cut on his knee. He was in pain but sleeping peacefully.
He went to the doctor only the next evening, on the 6th. The X-rays showed a hairline crack on the shoulder and on a right rib. The doctor said no plaster would be needed. More importantly, his head had escaped injury. And the next day when the doctor examined him, the wounds behind his head had healed. He was put on painkillers and calcium tablets.
How could an old and ill person, heavily built, who fell down 14 stairs and whose head hit a concrete stairway at least a couple of times, escape major injury? Guruji had intervened, and that was what my dream meant.
The most merciful and ever-giving Guruji Maharaj had trod on the same stairs. By the merest touch of His divine lotus feet, He had averted a fatal accident. He did not allow those four persons (who I saw in my dream) to prevail. These four would have taken my brother-in-law on their shoulders to his last journey.
Only God can do this for someone who does not even know Him..
Guruji's mercy is touching and amazing. He had warned me beforehand about the staircase, by appearing on it and not anywhere else in the house. He had showed me the room near the stairs where my brother-in-law was laid when he fell. He shook me from my sleep exactly at the time my brother-in-law hit the floor, at precisely 3 am. And I prayed to Guruji for what He wanted me to pray that day because the words were not definitely mine. I did not consciously utter them.
Even now as I am typing this satsang
, I am feeling a strong and loving vibration in my whole body, of the great master, our Guruji Maharaj, shaking me back and forth and side to side, to reassure me and to tell me never ever to lose faith in His genius, to come to Him for all solutions, connect with Him directly through the heart, mind and body. Open your eyes and see His immeasurable strength, supreme power and undying love forever and ever and ever, indefinitely and unconditionally for us for ages.
Gagandeep Kaur, a devotee