Pyaar kare apaar jo,
Mehar ka jiski koi ant na;
Haath jod, natmastak hokar,
Karun us Guru ki vandana
My spiritual journey with Guruji began on March 25, 2006 - the day of my first visit to Him - and my fourth semester exams followed soon after. I wanted to pay Him another visit and get His blessings before sitting for the exams. Partly because of the pressure of exams and partly because of the distance between my home and the mandir, I could not take out time to go there again and was depressed to find that I could not manage to go at all.
But, on April 11, 2006 (at 5am, I had just fallen asleep) Guruji came in my dream, and I saw myself flying off to His place (the place I now know as Bada Mandir, which was unknown to me previously since I had only gone to mandir at Empire Estate and that too only once!) with my father on our two-wheeler. I saw Him seated on a manji
(cot); as I went forward and bowed before Him, He said, "Dekha panj minute vi ni lage
(see, it has not even taken you 5 minutes to come to me)." I suddenly woke up and checked the clock in front of me to find that it had indeed taken me just three minutes to go through this dream, or darshan
, sequence. I did not fully believe what I saw because the very notion of Guruji sitting on a cot was unbelievable for a new devotee like me. Much later (on August 15, 2006) did I discover that the manji
that I had seen in my darshan
exists, and Guruji sits on it whenever He comes to the Bada Mandir.
Guruji 'freezes' the traffic; unfreezes my hand for exams
My exams began on April 25, 2006. My first exam was the best exam I had ever taken; I knew 100% of the questions asked in the paper and many of them I had studied right before the exam. It was again Guruji who made me study whatever was going to be asked in the exam. On my way back home, I was sitting behind my father on the two-wheeler, thanking Guruji for whatever had happened when I fell off the moving scooter. I had fallen down at a turn near the red-light in the proximity of Jhandewalan temple (New Delhi). It was rush hour; no one was going to stop; I would very likely be run over. But to our utter astonishment, while I lay on the road unable to move, neither a single automobile nor a pedestrian crossed the place. Guruji had frozen the entire scene; not even a leaf rustled at that time. Only after my father had picked me up did the bulk of traffic begin moving.
My right hand had deep cuts and swelling, but no fracture, and my next exam was scheduled for 29 April. My doctor and my teachers suggested that I should avail of a writer for my next exam, but because of the non-theoretical nature of the exam (the test was on software engineering, which requires that we draw various diagrams and explain them) I knew that I would be unable to direct the writer. In the meantime, I realized that when God (that is, Guruji) is with me, why should I worry?
(That belief was the result of another of Guruji's amazing feats. Our current residence is at a police colony adjacent to an army training center where the military band is trained. Because of their band practice, we can hardly concentrate on anything, leave apart studies. When I was tense because of the circumstances I was in, I complained to Guruji that on the one hand I had met an accident and, on the other hand, these military people would not let me study. Where could I go and what should I do? The very next moment the sound of the military band ceased and they remained silent for exactly 10 more days - the time left over for my exams.)
I finally decided to write the exam myself. With complete trust in Him, I sat for the exam and to the amazement of one and all, once I started writing, I didn't stop till I was through with it. During the exam I felt no pain whatsoever. But once I handed over the answer script to the examiner, I could no longer move my hand on my own. The same thing occurred for each of my remaining exams. With His blessings I managed to get a respectable 70 marks in this exam as well.
My next exam was scheduled for May 4, 2006 at 2:30 in the evening. I had a good four-day break but could not prepare well in time. On the 4th I got up at 4 o'clock in the morning to read up on what was left, but till 10:30 I had got as far as only one chapter and I was supposed to leave for the examination center at 12:30 pm. I found that I didn't have the courage and stamina to study four chapters in the remaining two hours. It was then that I felt Guruji near me, actually very close to me, and I prayed to Him to help me. Assured that He is with me, I started preparing afresh. As I had read the chapters once earlier and underlined the important points I just began flipping through the pages and reading whatever small portion of each chapter I wanted to study or felt like reading. Later when I got the question paper, I discovered that nearly 50% of the paper had been set from those four chapters that I would otherwise have left. Moreover the questions had been asked from only those sections that I had studied, only those lines that I had gone through, and only up to the word I had studied. Nothing whatsoever was asked from the remaining portion of those chapters. Then it dawned on me: He sets the question paper himself and makes us study well in time (He studies with us too!), gives us strength whenever we feel low, makes us perform better and rewards us with the best result we can ever aim for. It was only His force that was instrumental in my good performance in the exam (I scored 89 marks). Had His blessings not been with me I could have flunked!
Guruji says "Chal daffa ho!"
It was a very hot Friday afternoon and our day to visit Guruji. I was supposed to meet my father at his office from where we were to leave for Empire Estate. I had to take a bus to reach my father's office. I had forgotten to take my wallet with me and had just Rs 10 in my hand. Moreover, the route of the bus changed the very same day, and the driver asked me to alight at an unknown place. With the trivial sum of Rs 5 I was left with, I could either call my father and explain my situation, asking him to come to a location that I had no clue about or I could go back home. I decided to pray to Guruji and continued walking on an unknown path. After a good one-hour run, I ultimately reached my father's office with my face red, feet swollen and full of blisters. In the mandir when I went to take Guruji's aagya
(permission), He looked at me and said "Chal daffa ho (Get lost)!
" And I burst into tears because that day I had already suffered a lot. Little did I know that it was such a great blessing. Guruji had sent away the malefic force that had been stopping me from coming to Him. Since then I have never encountered any problem on my way to His mandir.
Dancing away my backache
On July 11, 2006, Guru Poornima day, my father had planned to reach the Bada Mandir early so as to do some sewa
. Guruji gave us the sewa.
By the time we reached the mandir (which had been thoroughly cleaned by thesangat
during the morning), it had become dirty again on account of rainfall. We joined other sangat
members to clean the mandir. As far as I am concerned, I had a severe backache that had been troubling me for the past six years, so I was vulnerable to the re-occurrence of the pain on account of strain caused by doing sewa
. To my utter surprise, I swept the whole of the Mandir floor twice or thrice that day. Usually, I would no longer have even stood on my own after doing so much physical work. His blessings kept me ticking. The very same night, Guruji asked me to dance and I did.
What exactly happened as a result of that day's sewa and dance was something I realized after Guruji had left His chola
(mortal frame). I was listening to a couple's satsang
in the Bada Mandir on June 6, 2007. They were saying that Guruji had made one of them dance and their body ache had disappeared. Just then I realized that after the Guru Poornima day (July 11, 2006) my back pain had never troubled me. Thanks to His blessings, I had forgotten about my backache. We are blessed, and we don't even realize it.
Getting second rank in Delhi University
A month after Guru Poornima day, on August 11, 2006 I was at Empire Estate. It was around 8 o'clock in the evening when I went to bow before Guruji and He said, "Chalo upar
(Go upstairs)." I understood the meaning of this blessing when I reached back home. A friend had sent a message to me, congratulating me for having secured 82% marks and second rank in Delhi University. The time at which my result was declared and the time when Guruji had spoken to me were the same. Earlier I had held seventh rank in Delhi University, and He had promoted me directly from seventh to second rank.
Guruji cured my viral fever and took everything upon Himself
I was suffering from a viral infection and it was our day to go to the mandir. I wanted to go but was afraid that Guruji would not be able to see me in this condition and would take my suffering upon Himself, so I took two doses of my medicine at one go (so stupid of me!). When I was sitting in the mandir for langar
in front of Guruji, He kept looking at me continuously and His condition started to worsen. He sent away most of the sangat after langar
. The next day I woke up feeling absolutely fit and came to know that after sending the sangat
back the previous night Guruji had vomited blood. He could not see me in pain and therefore took my pain upon Him. Can love like this ever be found?
Guruji's message, and darshans on my PC
Whatever you get in life is Guruji's blessing. If you love and respect Him truly, learn to accept His blessings and never complain about not getting what you thought is good. Believe in Him and in the fact that He gives you the best you can ever get. He plans each and every incidence of your life howsoever small it may be.
This is the message I received once while meditating and this gave me the courage to sit for my fifth semester exams, where I had a paper in 'Numerical analysis and scientific computing'. I knew nothing of it, and this fact added to my tension. It was just because of my trust in Him and His planning for me that I cleared the exams and managed to get a respectable 76.25% aggregate despite the fact that I flunked in this particular paper by three marks.
To go back a bit, once I could not go to Empire Estate because I had to prepare for my fifth semester exams and complete my programming assignments. It was a Thursday evening, and my father had gone. The very thought of being deprived of His darshan
for 15 days at a stretch started taking a toll on me. I began crying. Unable to control myself, I minimized the onscreen window I had been working in and started looking at His photograph on my desktop. I was taken aback at the sight of the sacred trishul
that came up in front of my eyes on Guruji's forehead. The veins in His forehead sort of came up to the surface to form the trishul
. I felt as if He was saying, "Don't worry I am always with you."
Shivratri and Baisakhi celebrations
On Shivratri of 2007 which fell on February 16, He again showered His immense love on me. There were such huge queues outside the Bada Mandir for Guruji's darshan
, and I was busy in the sewa
of managing the queues so I could not go for His darshan
. After all the devotees in the queue had got Guruji's darshan
, I went inside to find that Guruji had given word that nobody would enter the main hall and that the sangat
could go back home after langar
without going to Him to seek permission. I tried to tell the aunty who was standing at the entrance to the main hall that I wanted to go inside for His darshan
and not for His aagya
. But she did not listen. The one who listened to me was Guruji Himself. He called me inside, and I felt I was the luckiest of all. The message that I got from Him was: When nobody is there to listen to you, He is there, always watching you, communicating with you in His many diverse ways.
I went to Empire Estate on April 12, and I bowed before Guruji while He was sitting on the side-board. I silently wished Him Happy Baisakhi and said that I won't be able to come to Him on Baisakhi because of my final semester's practical exam of three subjects on the 14. He who is aware of our each and every breath made me go to the celebrations in a way that is typical of Him.
On the 13th
I had no plan to go to Bada Mandir and was studying for my exam. All of a sudden I experienced something that can't be expressed in words. My whole room became full of Guruji's divine fragrance and I traced the source of the fragrance to Guruji's photograph in my room. I took this as His call to go to Bada Mandir. I got up and got ready to go but my parents had already left. Then I called up a friend of mine in the sangat
. Though her car had no space, she agreed to take me with her and I spent the entire journey sitting on her lap. I consistently prayed to Guruji to bless my friend and her family who were taking me to the Bada Mandir. And to the amazement of all, His fragrance came. As we looked outside the car, we noticed that Guruji's car was right next to ours. It was His answer to my prayers. We continued the rest of our journey to Bada Mandir following His car and saying Jai Guruji!
However, I had no conveyance to go back home early and study for the exam. My parents had already said that they would not leave early at any cost. I decided to stay back in the Bada Mandir the whole night and go directly to my college in the morning to take the exam. I went inside the main hall to have His darshan
.Guruji looked into my eyes and smiled softly as if saying, "Look, you have come!" As I came out of the hall after His darshan
, three of the sangat
members offered to take me back home early, so that I could at least sleep well before the exam and study whatever I could. It was His decision and it took me only a fraction of second to realize this, and I bowed before Him to take His aagya
. My exam was awesome and I got the highest marks in all three subjects as well! Today I realize that had I not gone there that day, I would have missed the last function in His physical presence and would not have been able to bear that fact today.
Guruji's continuous blessings throughout my sixth semester exams
* My second exam of the semester was scheduled for a Saturday and our day to visit the Empire Estate was Thursday. I didn't want to miss visiting the mandir and yet had to finish reviewing my course on time. That was the first day in my life that I had asked my father to come back early from the mandir, after having langar
in the first round. While in the mandir I kept telling my father, "Chalo-chalo (lets go)." After langar
when we went to take aagya
, Guruji smiled at me and said "Chalo-chalo (Go home)
", assuring me that my exam would be perfect.
* I had my third exam on Friday and therefore missed my visit to Empire Estate the day before. The very same day Guruji asked my father to come every Friday from the following week. That was convenient for me because after my exam I could directly go to Bada Mandir (my fourth exam was on the next Friday and the fifth on the Friday after that). He thereby ensured that I did not miss visiting Him because of any exam.
* "Mera number aa gaya
" (My turn has come)
It was a usual Monday evening but He made it unusual by coming to Bada Mandir while the sangat
was still there (generally Guruji used to visit only after sangat
had left). I had, however, missed a visit to Bada Mandir on that particular day because of my exams. When my parents came back late at night from the mandir and told me that Guruji had given them prasad
with His own hands, I broke into tears and complained to Him. I said that I always try and go to Bada Mandir every Monday, but had missed the chance to go on the day He came. I cried and cried and cried and He telepathically said, "Tera number aayega (Your turn will come).
" To my utter amazement, that Friday when I went to Guruji (after my fifth and the last exam) He gave the prasad to me too!
Little did I know why He had fulfilled my desire so soon. I got my answer the next week. He had blessed me and fulfilled my wish before His soul left its abode.
On 31 May I woke up and heard the news that Guruji was in AIIMS. After some time, one of the sangat
members said that He has left His physical form. I cried like I had never cried before.
The thought that I would never be able to meet Him again meant that no Friday, no Monday would have any meaning. But Guruji had something else in store. Most of the sangat
members that were there at the Bada Mandir on the very next Friday (1 June 2007) experienced a miracle. The entire Mandir was full of His divine fragrance, and He assured me of His continuing presence with us on the sangat
day designated for us, i.e., on Friday.
I had my entrances for DUMCS and DUMCA scheduled for 9th and 10th June, respectively. But I was neither mentally nor academically prepared for them. I barely hoped that I would make it to the DUMCS merit list. I gave the DUMCS entrance but skipped the DUMCA entrance because we were to leave for Guruji's pind
(native village) at the dawn of June 10 for the bhog
. On 5 July, the result for the sixth semester was declared and again due to His blessings I got 83 percent in aggregate and attained an overall fifth rank in Delhi University. I soon got a call from the department of computer science, Delhi University, to take admission in DUMCS. Though I failed to clear the entrance exam for it, I got admission on merit. Which proved that it is ultimately His planning that works for us; moreover, I faced no problem during the admission procedure.
Shabads in a Blueline bus
Because my college is quite far off from my home I hardly get time to go to the mandir these days; living without going there or listening to the shabads
makes me feel low and depressed. I had begun feeling that He was no longer with me. On August 21 2007, unable to bear the pain of my segregation from Him I cried a lot. The following morning the bus that I boarded to my college had the shabad 'Guru meri pooja'
being played. This phenomenon continued for the whole week.
Guruji blesses my father with a new life
On the morning of September 24, a Monday, I had a dream. I saw that I was sitting in the Bada Mandir and crying bitterly when an aunty asked me what happened. I told her that my father was no more. She, however, assured me that nothing would happen to my father. And I prayed to Guruji for my father's long life.
That morning, I woke up crying after hearing my father's voice. Not able to comprehend much, I decided not to share this dream with anyone. However, what followed made the complete scenario crystal clear.
My father was going to the Bada Mandir that day. His two-wheeler hit a heap of sand which he could not see because of the headlights of oncoming vehicles. He flew up with the scooter to a height of about five feet and then fell down. Due to this, he had to get his left leg plastered; his shoulder had internal injuries while both the elbows and knees bore external injuries. When he returned at night with all those injuries, I realized Guruji's immense blessings. What was to come our way had been diminished by Guruji. Dad was able to return home only due to Guruji's grace and blessings. Thank you, Guruji, for blessing my father with this new life and all of us with that care, love and affection which is impossible for us to reciprocate. For ever, Jai Guruji!
Anu Sharma, a devotee