Jai Jai Guruji Maharaj-ji! The week of June 13 to 18th
has been so blissful that I am able to not only feel but witness with open eyes the blessings that Guruji Maharaj is showering on me and my family.
It began ominously. On June 13th
I woke up at about 2.45 am from a dream in which I had seen Guruji in tears. Tears were rolling down His cheek and Guruji Himself seemed so sad, as if He was bearing all the pain and negativity which had been wrought upon (I strongly suspected and events were to confirm) with the express intention of harming me. I was very upset and began crying.
I knew, and very clearly, that the dream meant Guruji had taken our ills upon himself. He had done the same last year on 31st
May, the day of His mahasamadhi
. We had been travelling back from Dugri when we lost control of our car. However, none of us, including my three siblings, were hurt. A dream had presaged that incident, too, wherein I had seen a swaroop
of Guruji Maharaj getting completely crushed.
There is a reason, I believe, these untoward incidents happen in my life. My sister-in-law and her mother use black magic to thwart me and raise obstructions in my married life. Every Holi and Diwali they plan rituals to kill me, but have never succeeded because Mahashivji, our Guru Maharaj, is protecting us. I always feel blessed under Guruji Maharaj-ji's charan sharan
Though my relatives planned to injure me fatally through devious means this Holi too, Guruji's protection again defeated their plans. In fact, Guruji showed me in a dream what they had planned 10 days before their black scheme could bear fruition. After their plans flopped, they were incensed and plotted several times to take me out permanently. But Guruji Maharaj foiled their plan repeatedly. In fact, during his Samadhi diwas
I was greatly blessed to sit next to Guruji's gaddi
in the Dugri mandir. I knew right away that He was blessing me in advance.
Coming back to the nightmare I had on June 13th
, it is relevant to note that I had gone to the Bade Mandir just a day earlier, on 12th
June, a Sunday. Earlier, I had been going to Mandir every Thursday and Friday, but could not this time. So Sunday it was and when I came out from the Mandir, I noticed that a sewadaar
was giving out Guruji's blessings in the form of His photographs. Guruji Maharaj made me stand in a queue and receive the blessings. And I know the reason why: Whenever I face any threat to my life, Guruji has always come to me via His locket, His watch or a photograph. In fact, that day the sewadaar was asking devotees to take Guruji's photograph only if they didn't have any. In fact, he was refusing to give it to those who already had a swaroop. I determined to tell him the truth that I already had Guruji's swaroop, and yet ask for it. That's what I did when my turn came. The sewadaars looked at me and gave me Guruji Maharaj's swaroop. I understood very clearly that minute that Guruji was accompanying me again to protect me. I also decided that from that day on I would not stand in a line and trouble sewadaars with my demands but would take His swaroop only when it was given to me.
I also came to know what Guruji's dream meant. Guruji told me telepathically that "Iss vaari enna ne tere tote tote karne si te main tere us kasht nu katt ditta hai.
" (This time, they had planned to make little pieces of you; I have cut down your troubles.)
In fact, a day after my dream, on Tuesday night, I was taking a head wash when I noticed that I had lost a patch of hair. I became so upset that I complained to Guruji Maharaj that my relatives were continuing to trouble me. Even though He was with me and dealing with all my troubles, I continued, these relatives were ridiculing me. I continued in this vein till Wednesday.
On Wednesday, I went to Bade Mandir as Guruji Maharaj had given me a hukum
to come every month on the 15th
to the Mandir. Bade Mandir was open only for sewa
and I was allowed to take darshan
from outside, but Guruji Maharaj did not send me back empty handed. He blessed me with jal
and langar prasad
and three pieces of barfi prasad
. He also ensured I returned comfortably as a lady devotee dropped me till Saket metro station. In her car, I shared my satsangs
A day later, which was a Thursday, I dreamt again. I saw that my mom, my father and I were going across a valley. It was next to impossible to cross, but Guruji Maharaj blessed us all. We were able to sit on a wooden roller coaster and go ahead even as I shouted loudly: "Guruji Maharaj ki jai.
The meaning of the dream became apparent very soon. Over the last two years my family has never been able to go to Bade Mandir on a Thursday. But this Thursday, my family planned to go. I always go to Bade Mandir alone by the metro but this time, I went with my family by car. It was Guruji Maharaj-ji's way of forestalling my relatives' conjuring of road accidents, which happen rather more than usual with us.
We were late to reach the Mandir at about 6.30 pm. We could not sit in the durbar, so I prayed to Guruji that sit where we may, I should have His beautiful darshan and that He should sit near me. I was blessed to sit in the corridor that runs at the rear of Lord Shiva's likeness. I was taking leave after having langar prasad when my prayer came true. As I looked up after bowing, I saw Guruji Maharaj-ji's locket swaroop set in a very beautiful bracelet.
We waited for our car at the parking area and I shared my satsang with my mom and three other devotees. I emphasized that whenever Guruji Maharaj wanted to protect me from some trouble, He would always come with me - in a manner similar to the one that had just happened. In a few minutes my brother came with the car. We took along a devotee to drop at the metro station. My brother was driving smoothly when near one of the Radha Swami gates, a truck cut in from the front as it took a sharp U-turn. A biker was travelling ahead of us in full speed, and there was no way to avoid a mishap. The truck was about to hit our car, but Guruji Maharaj's blessings ensured my brother was able to swerve away. It felt as if it was not my brother, but Guruji himself who had driven the car to safety.
Truly, thanks to Him, we have been able to continue our earthly and spiritual journeys.
The next day, the 17th
, Guruji Maharaj again called me to Bade Mandir to bless me. While returning from the mandir, I sat in a Gramin Sewa auto to reach the metro station. I felt acute pain on the spot where I had lost my hair. I was feeling bad vibes and I wondered what was causing it. I prayed to Guruji to be with me, protect me and to reveal what the cause of the negativity. The very next night I again had a dream. I saw a female soul, whom I was berating. I was telling her that she could not live in our place. I also saw a bearded boy, to whom I gave the same message. I spread a prayer mat before this boy for offering namaz. I asked him to tell Allah to take him to his rightful place, since he was dead and needed to return.
After waking up I realized Guruji Maharaj-ji had answered my question about negative vibes on my head. I surmise that my relatives may have used trapped souls to do black magic on me. However, Guruji Maharaj blessed me in a dream and they had to leave me without impacting me. He got rid off those souls from my surroundings. In the morning after the dream, I read a couple of satsangs related to how Guruji had protected devotees from black magic.
Deliverance but not before the time is right
It is not as if, seeing how distressed I have been, Guruji grants every one of my wishes. On the contrary, I have learnt that it is good for me to serve those whom I am responsible towards even if they harbor ill-will towards my most beloved Guruji. There is one member of my family who actually curses me for worshipping Guruji and even abuses Guruji Maharaj.
I do not know if this is due to the influence of black magic. In fact, he gets angry at me generally after every black magic attack. He begins cursing me and fighting with me and uses foul language for Guruji Maharaj-ji. I then pray to Guruji that He bless the unfortunate soul. When another such event happened in June, I got so disheartened that I stopped talking to him and doing his work. However, I felt guilt at not doing my duties towards him. I wanted him to realize how much agony he caused me by his un-justified attitude so I continued being unresponsive to him for a week. But the guilt persisted. I felt Guruji was telling me to do my duty and that He would take care of the negative attitude towards me and him.
But I was so angry that I remained aloof. One day I read a message in which a devotee used a particular phrase: Agar koi Guruji ko gaali deta hai toh use dene do, Guruji use khud sambhalenge; hame toh bas apna karam karte jana hai.
Guruji would take care of those who berated him; we needed to continue doing our karmas. This devotee also wrote that if a thought insistently came to our hearts, it was clear that it was Guruji's wish. Thanks to those messages, I was able to get back to fulfilling my responsibilities and leaving the rest to Guruji.
But I still felt resentful about having to bear all this nonsense. One day on my way to Bade Mandir, I wished in my heart for something which was not acceptable to our Guruji Maharaj-ji at that time and He declined my wish.
I had heard a satsang in Bade Mandir. It was about a lady devotee of advanced years who prayed that her life should come to an end at Guruji's feet. She wished so earnestly for it, denying every other temptation that came to waylay her, that she had the great good fortune of her singular prayer being granted. It happened just as she prayed: She had chai prasad
and kneeled over at Guruji's feet. Guruji's grace had seen to it that she crossed the tormented ocean of worldly life and reached His eternal sanctuary.
On that particular day going to Bade Mandir, I also wished for the same. I could no longer endure the black magic and negative forces that had been set upon me. But Guruji Maharaj declined my wish. At the mandir, a sewadaar came with a tray full of chai prasad in hand, not once but twice, asking those who did not have chai prasad to quickly take it. But surprisingly when I stretched my hand towards the tray to take chai prasad, I found that the prasad had already been partaken of.
By 8.15 pm, I had langar prasad, and I made myself bold enough to go to the tea counter and see if tea was still being distributed. I even went and asked for chai, but was told that the prasad was coming from the kitchen and I would get it. I requested another sewadaar for chai prasad, but he told me that many devotees had not received chai prasad that day and I should not worry about it. Yet, right there, in front of me, he served tea to several other devotees. I realized that all this was happening due to Guruji's wish. By not giving me chai prasad, Guruji was denying my request for deliverance and telling me that it was not my time yet to go beyond. Although Guruji fulfills our every wish, if it is not meant for us or if the time is not right, He declines it with a smile.
The lesson is that Guruji blesses us our every wish if it is worthy, but never ever blesses that which is either not good for us or if it is asked before the right time. He always guides us to the right path.
I love you, Guruji, I just love you. Meri manzil toh aap hain, Guruji Maharaj.
O Divine Lord! you who are infinite and unending, please do not ever let go of my hand.