I am a very religious person; there is no one above God for me. Yet I was initially skeptical of going to Guruji. I found it difficult to believe that my educated parents had faith that they could go to a mandir, listen to spiritual songs, have langar and be healed! They had come home late one night, not keen to tell me where they had been. Only after repeated questioning, with some anger on my part, did they reveal that they had been to Guruji's Mandir at Chhatarpur - a place my maternal uncle had told them about. I was shocked. My parents asked me to join them the next time, adding that they would never force me to go.
So I went to the Bade Mandir. It was such a clean and beautiful place - but full of rich people decked in lavish clothes. Guruji must cater to the rich, I thought, He is not a god or even close to one. I kept looking at the people but, in spite of myself, I liked that place. I didn't tell my parents what I felt, but repeated the holy line: Guru manyo granth.
Answers to my prayers
I began going to Bade Mandir but was distracted at all times and had no trust in Guruji. During our initial visits to Guruji, I proposed a test: If Guruji gave us a new car, I told my father, we will come regularly to the Mandir. Within a week we were owners of a new car. I was shocked, but dismissed it as a coincidence.
I am a travel and tourism student who was learning Spanish from a government institute. It was a diploma course that had to be cleared in one go. No re-examinations were allowed. I had to appear for the first-year travel and tourism paper a week before the Spanish exam and doubted that I would pass the language test. For the first time, I prayed to Guruji. The Spanish paper was tough, but I tried my best. Till the time the result didn't come out, I prayed repeatedly to Guruji to pass me but felt I would flunk. My result came - and I stood fourth in a class which had among its rolls bureaucrats and Army men.
My faith in Guruji grew. I began going to Bade Mandir regularly and listening to the
shabads. I also heard Guruji's
satsangs, but thought that a miracle would never occur in my own life. Listening to His shabads and His teachings made me a calmer and better human being. Now I have become more sensitive towards others and my ego, my attitude, is diminishing. I have found peace and meaning behind my life.
And the miracle too has come to pass.
One day, my maternal aunt gave me a big, fancy locket of Guruji's. I said out aloud that I would wear it always. But when I put it on, it looked odd, was full of shimmer and I found myself thinking that I couldn't possibly wear it all the time in college or for job interviews. I was in a quandary. I wanted Guruji's blessings but couldn't wear the locket that had come. I prayed hard to Guruji to give me a small simple locket the coming Thursday at the Mandir. Also, I had an interview on Monday and wanted Guruji's blessings.
I went to the Bade Mandir, but found no encouragement for my hope that I would get the locket. I was returning in tears when I saw a person distributing Guruji's pictures. He gave me a small, simple locket and then went back to distributing photographs. I froze for a moment - I had gotten what I prayed for!
A break to Shimla, a pilgrimage to Dugri
When we had bought a new car, my mother had vowed that the family would go to Dugri for May 31 after she had retired. My mom was a section officer with the government and was planning to retire because of work pressure and her back problem. But she was depressed about leaving office, wondering how she would sit at home without a salary. She left everything to Guruji and took early retirement. Soon she got a huge amount of money from the office and a good pension - more than what she expected. A week after she had left, she came to know that a strict, new officer had come. He had suspended half the people and the rest were fed up with the work environment. Her decision to leave and leave it in the hands of Guruji was very timely.
My final-year papers were getting over on May 19
th, and there were interviews lined up after it. I wanted to go on a vacation to relax before I appeared for those. We planned a trip to Lonavala in April. Our tickets were at the top of the waiting list and we were reasonably confident of getting through. Within a week, we were only two numbers behind getting confirmed tickets. Then a month passed and the list did not move forward.
Soon, my papers were finished. On May 20, I was called for a job interview and on the 22
nd I got a job - within three days of finishing my exams. After all, I always used to pray to Guruji for my job. I was now even more excited to go for a holiday.
The departure day came and we were still on the waiting list. We called a person in the government, who told us that everything would be taken care of and asked us to go ahead. We went to the railway station. My mom prayed to Guruji - but we were not allowed to board the train.
We were upset and returned home. I desperately wanted to go somewhere because my job was about to start and I needed a break. Immediately, we decided to go to Shimla - my favourite hill station.
From thoroughly enjoyed Shimla, we thought of going to Dugri on May 31, Guruji's mahasamadhi day. And that is when my mom remembered her promise of going to Dugri after her retirement. If we would have gone to Lonavala, we would have been there till June 2 and lost sight of Dugri completely.
Guruji's divine intervention had, in essence, helped my mother fulfill her vow. Though we had booked our tickets well in advance and were on top of the waiting list, He had not allowed us to get through. But we managed to go to Shimla, because Guruji acceded to my request for a break.
Guruji always gives something better
Breakfast had been arranged for devotees going to Dugri, and I was standing in queue for it. I got
halwa prasad, but it was hardly half a spoon. I was disappointed and complained to Guruji, saying: "
Guruji, bas itna sa."
By the time I sat down to eat, I noticed that my halwa had increased in quantity. I asked each member of my family whether they had put halwa on my plate and they had no idea what I was talking about. This was scary. I accepted the happenstance as Guruji's blessing! The trip to Dugri was the most memorable trip of my life.
I can't explain how Guruji is with us for each and every moment of our life. I remember attending a Gurgaon satsang while I was suffering from acute stomach pain for one week. I was thinking of going to the hospital directly from the satsang. But after having langar, I was fit and fine. How can so many happenstances be coincidences? Science and logic can't explain it. Who can Guruji be but God? My motto earlier was
Guru manyo granth, but now it is Guru
manyo Guruji (My sole guru is Guruji).
I have kept asking Guruji for things, since I know He is God and can give me everything. But the best part about Him is He always gives you something better. From Guruji's hands, you always get something which is good for you even if it comes later than expected. Soon you realize that you were asking for the wrong thing.
I dislike my habit of repeatedly asking and petitioning Guruji, knowing that even if I don't do so He will give me whatever I want. He actually takes care of all your problems. Once you have faith in Him - I can guarantee this personally - He is never ever going to disappoint you. You may not get what you want, but surely you will get what is good for you.
I just pray to Him to keep on blessing His entire
sangat, and I want to offer my entire life to Guruji. Guruji, please don't let me ask you for material things. All I want is you and your
bhakti. There are times when I feel low, there were times when my faith was shaken, but all these things did not affect my Guruji. He was simply there for me, lessening the burden of my problems and then taking it away entirely.
I know that Guruji is Om, Shiva, the Creator and the Ultimate. Everything is a lie; Guruji is the only truth. I am the dust of His lotus feet.
Shiva Bhokta, Shiva Bhojya
Shiva Karta, Shiva Karma
Shivah Karanatmakah
(Shiva alone is the enjoyer and the one enjoying,
The Doer and the Deed-
He alone is the Sole Cause)
Geetakshi Kapil, a devotee
August 2014